It's not that I'm lazy and I don't want to teach; I'm actually pretty excited about it. It's that I feel like I have taken more than sufficient initiative to find out this information, and all I get is the Chinese run around..."later," "I'm very busy," "this person will call you," "I think maybe this..." and the next time it's "Oh, no, this is the situation..." By the time Friday morning rolled around, and I still had no schedule, Sara and I took the initiative to go to our liaison’s office in hopes of getting it. We got a clue about what level we're teaching, and she made phone calls presumably to the head of our departments, whom she said would call us. My phone has been on all weekend, and no phone call.
No phone call from department means no teaching from Virginia.
I mean honestly, what am I supposed to do? Guess where my classes might be and when they might be and what I might be teaching? Not happening.
In other news, China has continued to be highly amusing. The other day, Kelli and I got on a bus, and then all the sudden, as we tried to take off, the driver started yelling in Chinese and everybody RAN off the bus! Of course I had no idea what was happening. Was there a bomb on the bus? Did the driver just quit? So we all got off and the driver kept yelling, and then straight out of Little Miss Sunshine, the Chinese people started PUSHING THE BUS and then once it got started, they all ran to get back on. HILARIOUS! While everyone was busy pushing, I pulled out my camera because I knew no one back home would believe me.
Pushing from behind the bus
Pushing from the sides
Rushing to get back on. HAHAHHA!
On Sunday, the other foreigners and I went to a Fellowship Meeting, which I'm pretty sure was legal. No Chinese can come (China’s rule, not ours), but there were Americans and Africans and a few others. I loved the Meeting! I felt very free there. It was 2 hours long, but everything here takes longer. It took over an hour to get there, and even longer on the way back because of traffic, and it's not even that far away. Again with the laid back/ unorganized Chinese culture… it’s very different than the instant-everything way of life in America. I’m on their turf, so I’m trying my best to go with their flow. It’s hard for me. I’ll be honest; the culture shock/ homesickness has been creeping in here and there. I’m fine, and I’m not going home… I’m just… adjusting. I knew it was going to happen, so I’m not surprised. I think China Now did a good job of preparing us for a lot of what would be happening, so I’m grateful for that. Maybe I should re-read my super-pumped earlier blog about choosing your attitude. I can’t tell if I regret publishing it or not.
I still know and believe that you have to choose a good attitude, its just getting harder. My honeymoon period in China was pretty short. I was so proud of myself for not crying my first few days here, but so much for that. The past 3 days have been total water works.
I have been having a very hard time the past couple of days, and I need… something. I don’t know what. I don’t know if it’s to hear from home and enjoy my first care package. I haven’t talked to hardly anyone from home besides my mom. I’ve talked to Mari once, which was like… completely therapeutic and probably necessary for my own personal health and sanity. I’ve heard from a few friends online, which has been nice, but it’s generally pretty lonely here. I haven’t talked to my dad or any other family members, no one from my Sunday Meeting Place at home, or any friends from school on the phone or skype. It’s fine, I understand I don’t live there anymore, it’s just that it’s very hard to be comfortable here, and for some reason I think it might help. My coping mechanisms have been country music and peanut M&Ms… so much for going on the China diet. If you want to send me something, but you don’t know what, I could use some Mapletine or maple syrup, American music or iTunes cards, and pictures of you/us/home… and of course, I love surprises too.
My first breakdown was brought on by frustration of not being able to get comfortable in any sense of the word. The couch isn’t comfortable, the bed isn’t comfortable, the weather isn’t comfortable, I’m not comfortable with the language, you can’t relax and enjoy TV, there’s no “comfort food “ here, and to have no contact from home on top of that has been rough. I think that may have been why I was so worked up over the milk thing… for the love of God can I get a cold glass of Lewes Dairy 2% milk!? Nope.
Something that has caught me off guard a little but is the lack of closeness among the other teachers in Wuhan. We haven’t mastered getting around the city just yet, and we’re all caught up in our own worlds. I really want to travel during October holiday, and I have my heart set on Thailand during the semester break, but I can’t find anyone to go with, and I’m frustrated too because I don’t even know how to make arrangements to go. AHHH!
I’m not getting along well with a couple of my fellow teachers either. We're too different. Yes, we have Something very important in common, and I am trying hard to focus on That. It's weird though because it doesn't suck all the time. Just a few days ago, I was so excited about our Group's vision and we were all on the same page. Then I met other members of our Group, and I was literally crying it was so bad. Talk about a let down! I feel really bad too because some people in the group are sooo hardcore about being family… and I’m just not feeling it.
The other new girl criticizes and nags me ALL the time, so I obviously don’t like talking to her, and we ‘re so different that it’s funny. Even the things we have in common clash. For example, she basically told me that we’re not going to get along and we’re not going to be great friends, which is totally something I would say. Haha. We keep Asking for unity. I’m not very optimistic. I never thought of myself as a loner, I’ve always called it “independence,” but maybe I am.
I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!!!
I can’t leave, but I can’t stay here like this.
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